If you are a parent, you have answered the question “why?”. You have probably answered it thousands of times – sometimes in one day. As annoying as the “why” stage can be, it is so important to stop and take the time to engage with your kids when they ask “why?”. So I wanted to share my strategies for dealing with the “why?” questions.

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Little Bookworm has been asking “why” since she was old enough to talk. Most of the time, she actually wants to know why something is the way it is, but over the years, it has become a game for her as well. She thinks it is hilarious to reply “why” to every answer I give her. Despite the fact that she is joking some of the time, I still try to answer her questions whether she wants me to or not.

Why we should answer Why?

From the beginning, I started answering Little Bookworm’s “why” questions as truthfully as I could. I never want her to lose that curiosity and thirst for learning. I want her to question why things are the way they are, and I want her to be curious about the world around her. Ignoring their questions can dampen that passion for learning about the world around them. So as annoying as those “why” marathons can be, it’s important to give them some attention!

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Teaching them it’s okay to NOT know

One of the things that I learned from my parents, is that it is okay to NOT know everything. I recently had a conversation with my dad (who is the most knowledgeable person I know) that he doesn’t think of himself as very educated. He has a Masters degree and studied philosophy and business in college. He fixes everyone’s computer problems and knows all kinds of information. But he considers himself a lifelong student, learning something new every day.

I want my daughter to have that same understanding of learning, and the same humble attitude to education. So when she launches into her “why” questions, I make sure I let her know when I don’t know the answer. Then we go out and find the answer together. Obviously, this is so much easier in the days of the internet and smart home devices. But it is still important that she sees me being okay with not knowing something, and going out to find the answer.

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Turning it back on them

Now that Little Bookworms is older, I turn the “why” game back on her. This is another strategy that I got from my own parents. They raised me and my sister to always have reasons to back up our answers. When Little Bookworm and I were talking about the presidential elections last year, she told me who she wanted to vote for. I immediately asked her “why?”. I want her to think about her opinions and be able to back them up with real reasons. Not only is it important to teach her how to think about her opinions, but it’s also fun to throw the “why” marathon of questions back at her!

My daughter’s constant barrage of “why” questions may test my patience sometimes, and it may challenge me, but it has so many benefits! There are so many learning opportunities that you can create from your child’s questioning nature.

What are your thoughts for dealing with the “why?” questions? Share them in the comments below!

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