In recent weeks, I have read lots of conversations online about parents worried about discussing uncomfortable topics with their kids. Racism, prejudices, slavery, and intolerance are just some of the topics I have seen argued about. While I recognize a parent’s fear of upsetting their children, I fully believe that reading about uncomfortable topics and talking to your kids about these things is crucial.

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A Defense of American Girl Books

When I saw a post about someone putting down the American Girl books, I was intrigued by some of the responses. I read the original American Girl books when I was younger, as did many girls in my generation. The original argument stemmed from the books in Addy’s series, which followed her journey from slave to free girl. One of the first people that commented on the post argued that Addy’s books were her first introduction to the horrors of slavery. I felt the same way as a kid. I didn’t know much about it, and the books didn’t shy away from some of the more gruesome aspects of history. As a child, I was deeply affected by these stories and they were really upsetting. And that was the point!

When I shared this debate on my Facebook page, a follower commented that a friend of her family purchased one of the dolls for her daughter, but apologized later when she read the backs of the books and realized that the character’s parents were going through a divorce. On the contrary, the mother found it “refreshing” to see the series deal with such a normal scenario. I told her I would be rushing out to check out the series myself too.

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Difficult History

Another blogger (whom I adore) posted recently about the problems with the history that we are being taught. I completely agreed with her. I live in an area that has a Juneteenth celebration every year, so I knew what it was. But it was shocking to me that more people didn’t know it.

While talking to her about the difficulties in bringing up these topics with our kids, I told her a story about reading to my daughter recently. We have been reading the Magic Tree House books this summer. I originally intended the series to last us the summer, but we are flying through them. In one of the books, the young protagonists Jack and Annie were visiting a young Louis Armstrong in New Orleans. When they asked him to ride on the trolley with them, he told them that of course they couldn’t ride together.

My daughter asked why they wouldn’t be allowed to ride together and I told her that at the time, people with black skin and people with white skin weren’t allowed to sit together. This OUTRAGED her. She was incensed and loudly declared that any of her friends can sit with her at lunch! We talked about the friends she has at school with different skin tones and how unfair it was that they would have been separated.

Was it an uncomfortable conversation? Of course it was.

Did I feel like I was piercing that innocent bubble of childhood? Definitely.

Would I do it again? ABSOLUTELY.

We cannot be afraid to read books with our kids that touch on difficult topics. And we shouldn’t shy away from the conversations that stem from those books either. It is up to us to teach the next generation.

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Being Uncomfortable

I have a very sensitive child, and I have strong empathetic tendencies and tend to feel things too deeply. But you know what? That isn’t an excuse. I would rather be uncomfortable and talk to her about these things, than raise a child who doesn’t understand these issues. If the language is a bit too strong, you can skip those parts. While reading about uncomfortable topics, I have reworded sentences to alter traumatic scenes if I thought she couldn’t handle them. And we still managed to discuss the issue at hand.

Not reading books about divorce, violence, and brutality won’t protect your kids from these issues. These things can still impact their lives on any given day. Isn’t it better to prepare them and help them learn how to deal with these issues and perhaps fight against them? You know your children better than anyone, and you know what they can handle. But keep in mind that avoiding the scary and uncomfortable issues can sometimes be more detrimental. 

Do you read children’s books about difficult subjects? What are your strategies for reading about uncomfortable topics?

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