Reading is important for everyone, not just your kids. I have previously talked about the importance of reading for yourself,. And I have also shared some of the books that have helped me and shaped my life. Today, I decided to take a more personal route and share 4 books that helped me through a dark period. From learning to forgive to finding joy and happiness for yourself, these are great books to help through a divorce.

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Divorce is horrible. Even if you have an amicable divorce and you remain friends, divorce is still the end of a great dream you had envisioned. It gets even messier if you don’t get along, you have kids, or you are escaping from an abusive relationship. Unfortunately my divorce falls into the second category. I am finally coming out of the other side of the darkness, so I wanted to share some of the books that helped me overcome the most difficult period of my life.

Breaking Bonds: How to Divorce an Abuser and Heal—A Survival Guide

Written by Rosemary Lombardy

For those on the outside, divorce is the dissolution of a marriage. A piece of paper. For those living through it, it can consume your life. This book is a guide for those thinking about,  or going through, a divorce. While it is framed for women divorcing an abusive man, it contains important tips and advice for all women seeking a divorce. From recognizing abuse and deciding to file, to battling in court, and recovering in the aftermath, this book is a crucial guide for those escaping a bad marriage.

What I really liked about this book is that the author focuses on you. The first half of the book helps the reader to recognize the signs of abuse and how to prepare. However, she also spends a lot of time reminding you that you are important. You deserve love and happiness. You will come out the other side of this a stronger, happier individual and your children will be better off. Some of her points actually made me put the book down and let the reality wash over me as I recognized some of the signs of my own relationship.

She also focuses on the importance of self care and taking care of yourself during a divorce. A lengthy legal battle can wreak havoc on you and on your health, and she takes care to prepare you for that, so you are at your best while fighting for your life. The back of the book contains tons of resources and recommended books. These range from help with finances and legal advice to domestic violence and substance abuse. Whether you feel like you are in an abusive marriage or not, I definitely recommend this book to all women suffering through a divorce.

The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World

Written by Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu

One of the most important things that I have learned from my divorce is that forgiveness changes everything. This incredible book by Archbishop Desmond Tutu and  his daughter teaches the reader about real forgiveness and the important role that it plays in our lives. For those going through a divorce, this is especially important. Continuing to carry the burden of anger and grief will only hurt you in the long run.

This book walks the reader through a four step process of letting go and offering forgiveness. There are meditations, journal exercises and simple stone exercises offered throughout the book that help the reader to address his or her own hurts in a tangible way. The book also includes incredible stories of forgiveness from people around the world. I highly recommend this book to everyone going through a divorce or harboring ill feelings to those that have wronged them. Letting go can provide you with so much more happiness.

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Written by Brene Brown

Divorce provides you with an opportunity to take a look at yourself and who you want to be. Especially for those who have been in long term relationships or abusive situations. You may have lost a part of yourself along the way and don’t know how to just be yourself. For those who struggle with the weight of worrying what other people think, divorce can feel like everyone’s eyes are on you. In this book, Dr. Brown shows the reader how to let go of those feelings and live a fuller life.

Dr. Brown is a shame researcher who has studied how shame and fear can dictate our lives. After years of studying people, she wrote this book to share her findings on wholehearted living, and the ability to be resilient and live a full life. She outlines how she came to study this concept, and breaks it down into 10 guideposts that people can apply to their own lives. At the end of each guidepost chapter, she offers opportunities for the reader to dig deeper and apply what they have learned to their own lives and way of thinking.

This book is a great way to take a magnifying glass to yourself and change your life for the better. By letting go of the fear and worrying less about what people think, you open yourself up to a greater future.

Related Post: Resolve to Change Your Outlook with Books on Happiness

The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

Written by the Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu and Douglas Abrams

I have previously reviewed this book on the blog, but this list wouldn’t be complete without it. I was lucky enough to pick up this book right in the midst of my divorce, and the lessons I learned from it have completely shaped the person I am post-divorce. This book is a remarkable collaboration between His Holiness The Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. The book is also written by Douglas Abrams, who had the opportunity to travel with Desmond Tutu to the Dalai Lama’s home in India.

Over the week long visit, the two spiritual men sat together and discussed joy. From the nature of joy to the obstacles that block joy, they covered a wide range of topics. Abrams captures their conversations in this book, also highlighting the immense joy that the two men have for life. He also adds in information and stories from others who have studied joy. The book concludes with Joy Practices that you can easily start in your own life. After reading this book, I started using some of the strategies in the book, and I definitely believe that it helps me to put my troubles into perspective. This is a great read for anyone struggling to find joy!

There are so many wonderful books out there to help us through the dark times. Whether you are struggling through a divorce, or looking for the bright spot afterwards, these books have helped me to become a more complete person on the other side of the darkness.

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